Can the TikTok trend of putting ourselves in uncomfortable or embarrassing situations, with the intention of getting rejected, help us to overcome social anxiety?


Therapy and wellbeing trends are hardly new on TikTok. With more than one billion monthly users on the app, #RejectionTherapy has seen more than 63 million views as people are captivated by this latest trend that will leave you both cringing and in awe of someone’s boldness. But what is rejection therapy, how is it supposed to help you, and, crucially, does it really work?

What is rejection therapy?

Nobody likes to feel rejected. Whether it’s friends turning you down to go and see the latest blockbuster movie, or a teammate casually tearing down your suggestion in a meeting at work, feeling rejected, well, sucks. At best, it can be embarrassing, and at worst, you can feel like you’ve failed – and everyone knows. So why would people want to put themselves in situations where rejection is almost guaranteed?

Rejection therapy is all about confronting those fears head-on, by putting yourself in situations where you might be socially rejected. This could include anything from requesting a discount on your train ticket during a morning commute to asking for something that isn’t on the menu at a restaurant. The idea is to embrace discomfort, build confidence, and overcome your fear of rejection by doing little, low-stakes tasks so that when it comes to real, bigger situations, you feel more prepared to tackle any eventuality.

It’s a little bit like exposure therapy – where you’re gradually exposed to things, situations, or activities that you are afraid of, make you anxious, or outright avoid. Exposure therapy can help with phobias, social anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and generalised anxiety. Importantly, it’s a therapeutic technique used by experienced, qualified counsellors and therapists in a safe, trusting environment, filled with support.  

Rejection therapy, on the other hand, is based on self-help rather than psychology. Originally created by entrepreneur Jason Comely to encourage people to put themselves in situations where rejection could help them to be more confident and courageous in the future, the idea is that fear of rejection guides us more than what we actually want to do or achieve. 

While putting ourselves in situations that can help us to feel more confident and comfortable, and enable us to grow, is admirable. But, unlike a more researched and guided method like exposure therapy, rejection therapy happens without oversight, support, or guidance that working with a professional therapist provides. Therefore it’s important to recognise where you are on the scale of social anxiety – if it’s affecting your day-to-day life, guiding your decisions, or holding you back, it could be a sign to seek professional support in order to learn healthy coping techniques, and understand the underlying causes in a safe space, rather than going it alone. 

What’s the purpose of rejection therapy?

Rejection therapy is essentially designed to help remind us that, while rejection is scary, it’s also a part of life. We can’t avoid rejection forever – but we can learn to feel more comfortable with ourselves and our reactions to rejection. By allowing ourselves to experience rejection in small, manageable ways, we can become desensitised to it, essentially building up our emotional resilience and helping ourselves to feel more comfortable, confident, and in control.

While many people report that rejection therapy has helped them to change their mindsets, overcome social anxiety, and build their confidence, it’s important to remember to take things slowly and carefully. A more traditional approach similar to exposure therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, or talking therapies can provide you with a safe space to open up about your experiences and feelings, while also ensuring you take things at a reasonable pace – and understand the root cause. Without guidance and support, you may feel more overwhelmed, or put yourself in situations that you aren’t quite ready to try yet, and may end up unsure of where to turn if you do need to talk to someone about how it makes you feel.

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Remember: rejection therapy is self-help, not actual therapy. Some people may feel comfortable trying rejection therapy to help boost their confidence, but if anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life, guiding your decisions, or holding you back, it could be time to seek professional help and support. A therapist can help you to better understand the underlying causes of your anxiety, teach you healthy coping techniques, and provide a safe space to talk through your worries and anxieties without fear of judgement.

Does rejection therapy work?

If you start scrolling through #RejectionTherapy on TikTok, you’ll find no end of posts from people claiming rejection therapy has changed their lives for the better. For some people, this may be completely true! But it’s important to remember that rejection therapy isn’t an evidence-based, researched, professionally-supported method of treating social anxiety. It might help you – but without oversight and support, you risk feeling more anxious.

Rejection is part of life. It’s unavoidable and inevitable, no matter what we do or how hard we try. When we become so caught up in our fear of rejection that we start to avoid putting ourselves in situations where it might happen, it can be a sign that we need help and support. Fear of rejection shouldn’t hold you back from considering career moves, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, looking for love, or any number of other experiences. 

If low-level worries are holding you back, trying out rejection therapy could be a way to help you learn how to manage your reactions to rejection. The more you hear ‘no’ without anything terrible happening, the less scary it will start to seem, helping you to build up your resilience and, over time, start taking bigger risks that may have scared you before. 

How to try rejection therapy

There are a few things to keep in mind if you’re considering giving rejection therapy a try. It’s important to:

1. Start out small. Don’t pick something too big or overwhelming to begin with. 

2. Be respectful of other people’s boundaries. It’s one thing to challenge yourself to try and get outside of your comfort zone and experience low-level rejection, but it’s something completely different to repeatedly bother, inconvenience or make other people uncomfortable. 

3. Take time to reflect. Think through your experience, make notes about how you are feeling, and let yourself process the experience before you try and move on. 

4. Take things slow – and know when to stop. There’s no rush to up the ante and get to bigger and bigger challenges. Take things at your own pace, and listen to your mind and body’s reactions. If things are making you feel more anxious, uncomfortable, or uncertain, it’s okay to stop! You haven’t failed if you stop. Learning to listen to yourself and your needs is far more important than an internet challenge. 



So, is rejection therapy worth trying? Only you can decide what's right for you. Trying out a TikTok trend is never going to be a replacement for actual therapy, but for some people, it can still have valuable benefits. If you’re in a vulnerable place, experiencing rejection over and over again may not be the best idea, but if you’re in a good place mentally and are looking for a way to build your confidence, it might be something to consider trying. Just remember to be kind and look after yourself – and whether you reject the idea, is up to you.