What is post-traumatic embitterment disorder?

Recognise when feelings of resentment seem to rule your life, and how you can help yourself out of a cycle of sourness

Do you feel yourself stuck with a bitter mindset as a result of something that happened a long time ago? Perhaps you were betrayed by a partner, treated unfairly at work, or the victim of a crime. The event has long-since passed, but you’re left with chronic anger and resentment that permeates every aspect of your life. Your loved ones rallied round you at the time, with bags of sympathy and understanding. But now, they beg you to draw a line under it, to forgive, and forget. You’re trapped in these feelings and can’t seem to move on, no matter how hard you try. If this sounds familiar, there is a chance you could have post-traumatic embitterment disorder (PTED).

What is post-traumatic embitterment disorder?

You’ve probably heard of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), where a terrifying event leads to flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety. But where PTSD triggers fear-based reactions, PTED is a psychological reaction to negative life events that manifests as chronic embitterment. As mentioned in the Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, these negative life events are experienced as insulting or humiliating, while at the same time causing feelings of helplessness.

Bitterness isn’t necessarily a problem on its own. It’s a normal human response to unpleasant experiences, but it’s a temporary state that fades over time. Embitterment, on the other hand, is a deep-rooted resentment that becomes a dominant part of a person’s personality, and clouds their outlook on life. Unlike bitterness, which can be a passing emotion, embitterment is a long-term condition that significantly impacts mental health and personal relationships.

What are the symptoms?

Internally, someone with PTED will experience overwhelming feelings of resentment, frustration, and helplessness stemming from something that happened in the past, such as job loss, redundancy, a relationship breakup, or a crime. Other symptoms include intrusive thoughts, hyperarousal, feelings of dejection, phobic avoidance of places or people related to the negative event, suicidal ideation, and homicidal thoughts or fantasies.

From the outside, the person may act in a way that others categorise as angry, aggressive, uncooperative, and negative.

“Diagnosing PTED can be challenging,” says mental health specialist Yolande Parry, “because its symptoms, such as chronic bitterness and a sense of injustice, can overlap with other conditions like depression or PTSD.”

And because PTED is in the early stages of gaining recognition in the UK, your GP or even your therapist may be unaware of the diagnostic criteria. But the important distinction here is that PTED isn’t a one-off burst of anger, but a long-term, repetitive, and seemingly inescapable cycle of resentment.

Strategies for addressing PTED

Thankfully, PTED is treatable, and there are some self-help tools that Yolande recommends, including mindfulness meditation, journaling, and physical exercise. “These activities help reduce stress, and provide a constructive outlet for processing emotions. Encouraging a focus on gratitude and positive experiences, even small ones, can gradually shift the focus away from bitterness. It’s also important to seek support from trusted friends, family, or support groups to avoid isolation.”

Whether or not you are officially diagnosed with PTED, getting support for feelings of anger and embitterment is a crucial step in recovery. A therapist may suggest a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and trauma-focused therapies, with the aim of working through your issues from the past so that they no longer control the way you act and feel in the present.

“CBT helps individuals reframe their negative thoughts, and reduce the emotional charge associated with their experiences,” says Yolande. “Incorporating mindfulness practices can also be beneficial, encouraging clients to focus on the present rather than ruminating on past injustices.”

Wisdom therapy

It’s worth noting, too, that research by Professor Michael Linden has uncovered traditional CBT benefits from some creative tweaks to support those with PTED. Professor Linden details this in the Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, stating that therapists must first focus on building a strong, trusting relationship with the patient without – and this is key – any pressure to change. They validate the person’s feelings of injustice rather than challenging them head-on. Interestingly, they might even frame recovery as a form of ‘revenge’ against the offender – a paradoxical approach that can motivate change.

Therapists may also use indirect methods, like discussing hypothetical life problems, to subtly work on skills that shift their perspective. There’s a big emphasis on accepting difficult emotions and seeing the bigger picture, rather than just disputing negative thoughts, which can be invalidating. These adjustments help navigate the initial resistance to help, and create space for the intense feeling of being wronged, making therapy more effective for this specific set of symptoms.

How to support someone with PTED

Living with PTED can be incredibly lonely, due to the lack of external validation and perhaps outright denial of the injustice they have experienced. This means that showing empathy for their experiences is essential. Listen without judgement, and offer reassurance in the form of witnessing their pain.

“It’s important to acknowledge the person’s feelings and validate their experiences,” says Yolande. “But also gently encourage them to focus on moving forward, rather than dwelling on past grievances.”

This might involve going to mindfulness classes together, or helping them find a trained therapist who can support them through their healing journey. The important thing is to help them recognise that while their feelings are real, so is the harmful impact of the disorder.

While PTED can be a challenging condition, it’s certainly not a life sentence. By seeking support, practising self-care, and working with trained professionals, a gradual shift in perspective and renewed sense of positivity is possible.