If you’re recovering from a difficult relationship with food or an eating disorder, you might be seeking ways to feel more at peace with food to support your journey. Here, we explore how to develop a more grounded approach to eating
Developing an eating disorder, which is a serious and complex mental condition affecting an estimated 1.25 million people in the UK, can be an all-consuming and solitary experience. However, with the proper treatment and support, people can, and do, recover. And part of that recovery, which often consists of specialised help, can also involve developing a more positive relationship with food.
If you’ve had an eating disorder – a clinical diagnosis based on eating patterns, such as obsessive thoughts about food, or experienced disordered eating habits, like food restriction – you might be wondering how to release the struggle around mealtimes. And while each journey is unique, together we can explore ways to find peace with food and, perhaps as importantly, with ourselves.
Listening to your body
During recovery, taking steps to reconnect with your body slowly can be a healthy way to identify your internal cues, and what makes you feel good.
Kerri Fleming, head of services at Beat (the UK’s eating disorder charity), says: “Recovery from an eating disorder is not just about what you eat, but how you relate to food and to your body. This includes learning to listen to your body, which is an important skill throughout the recovery journey.
“Our bodies naturally give us signals of hunger and fullness, but, in recovery, these can feel more confusing, or sometimes they can be absent completely,” explains Kerri. “Practising awareness, without judgement of yourself, can help you get back in tune with what your body is signalling to you.”
Nutritionist Sonal Jenkins also suggests paying attention to your body’s cues, including checking in with yourself, and being curious about your feelings.
Being attuned to your body, in relation to hunger and fullness, while gaining an understanding of how you may eat in response to certain emotions or stresses, allows “food to become a source of nourishment, reducing the cycle of guilt or overthinking around eating”. Sonal notes how this increased awareness can help rebuild trust in the body, as opposed to conflict.
Understanding emotional triggers
So, what might some of these conflicts be, and how can we draw parallels between specific underlying emotional issues and eating patterns, to start repairing the relationship with food?
Integrative therapist Jodie McCormack encourages a gentle and compassionate approach when addressing emotional triggers associated with cycles of behaviour.
“When we feel sad, lonely, or overwhelmed, food can serve as a source of comfort – or we may lose our appetite entirely. By taking the time to understand these emotional triggers, we begin to see food as part of caring for ourselves, rather than something to fear or control.”
Working on letting go of certain emotions, including guilt, shame, and judgement, which can often be deep-rooted in disordered eating, “creates space for food to become nourishing, varied, and enjoyable”, Jodie goes on to say.
Self-care practices, including grounding activities, regular meal times, journaling, connecting with friends, and routines that support your needs, along with patience and rest, help us to navigate recovery and strengthen a sense of sense of resilience. As Kerri says: “Self-care is equally important as working through your relationship with food.”
Nourishing yourself
Following on from the small steps to connect with your body, and recognising how emotional issues can impact your ability to nourish yourself, let’s explore strategies for rebuilding a healthier relationship with food, guided by our experts.
Mindful eating
In recovery, one way to befriend food is to learn to be more mindful when eating. “This might be taking a moment to notice the taste, texture, or smell of your food, allowing you to feel present, which, in time, can help make meals feel less overwhelming, and, eventually, more enjoyable,” Kerri from Beat says.
Sonal concurs with the positive benefits of this practice: “Mindful eating is about slowing down, and being fully present with your food. It becomes an empowering way to reframe the eating experience. This may mean sitting without distractions, chewing more slowly, and noticing flavours and aromas.”
It’s essential to note that while learning to interact with food differently, such as through mindful eating, is part of the healing process, it may not be suitable or possible during the earlier stages of an eating disorder or, in fact, a relapse.
Kerri emphasises the non-linear aspect of recovery, along with being able to recognise early warning signs to prevent relapse. “Being aware of your own warning signs, for example, wanting tighter control over your food, or isolating yourself from others, will help to reduce your risk of relapse.” She recommends reaching out to a trusted loved one, support group, or care team in this case.
Intuitive eating
While mindful eating focuses on the here-and-now experience, intuitive eating is a broader approach to food and food groups, involving letting go of a restrictive or scarcity mindset.
“I help people explore intuitive eating, which involves listening to your body and allowing yourself to enjoy the foods you love – while also considering the nourishment your body needs, and the foods that provide it,” says counsellor Jodie. “This approach reduces the restriction of foods that have been labelled as ‘bad’, and encourages balance instead, which is much easier to maintain.”
Moving away from the idea that there are ‘bad’ or ‘off-limits’ foods, as well as the shame associated with these labels, is a fundamental step toward healing, according to nutritionist Sonal. “Restriction and guilt only fuel anxiety around eating, whereas embracing balance brings freedom.”
However, as Sonal emphasises: “Balance looks different for everyone, but, at its heart, it’s about variety, flexibility, and self-compassion.”
Self-compassion
After years of diet culture and its unhelpful terms – such as ‘cheat day’, and harmful social media hashtags that promote weight loss – we’ve been led to believe that our bodies aren’t good enough. So, how can we develop self-acceptance?
Celebrating how far you’ve come on this journey is a significant milestone in finding freedom. Recovery isn’t a single-stage process, so honouring your progress, whatever that means for you, is crucial. And it helps! In fact, a study published in Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy shows that adding compassion-focused therapy to a standard treatment programme for people with eating disorders resulted in improvements to symptoms and wellbeing, especially for participants with bulimia nervosa.
But there are other ways we can infuse more self-compassion to our days. Saying out loud a positive affirmation that resonates, prioritising rest, making time for creativity, working with a professional, and avoiding negative social media influences, are ways to cultivate a better relationship with yourself.
Learning that true self-acceptance extends far beyond external appearance helps us remember our humanness, and unique qualities. It’s in these moments that we learn to nourish ourselves, even on the hard days.
Whether it’s cooking something new, sharing foods connected to your culture, or trying out a new restaurant with friends, there’s space for food to become not only satisfying, but also joyful. Food can have a lovely way of bringing us together, after all.
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