From bearing through the build-up to productive preparation, and 10 key questions to have to hand, utilise this guide to reduce anxiety before and during medical appointments
I remember, before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I needed to see my GP so they could make a referral for a psychiatric assessment. It felt like I had been building up to the appointment for weeks, and I was so tightly wound with anxiety I could hardly think or speak.
It’s a feeling you might know personally as well. Building up the courage to reach out for support is a huge thing in itself, which can be made all the more difficult by relentless on-hold phone calls, gut-wrenchingly long waiting times, and the resulting accumulation of nerves and stress. When you know something is wrong, and are desperate for answers and some form of diagnosis or support, you can feel as though your whole world depends on getting the appointment ‘right’.
In the interim, you often begin to catastrophise, worrying about the worst-case scenario, and anything and everything that could go wrong. You want to make sure you cover all the details and worry about missing something vital.
‘What ifs’ play out in your head; what if they don’t take me seriously? What if I miss something important, and they don’t get the full picture? What if I can’t explain myself properly? These negative thoughts whirl around like a tornado in your mind, making it difficult to think clearly and concisely. This anxiety can even make your health worse, or exacerbate the symptoms you’re already experiencing.
All this to say, if you’re struggling in the lead up to seeing your doctor, you’re not alone –but there are steps you can take to reduce this anxiety before and during medical appointments. After following these steps, I went to my appointment and received the referral I needed. I used these same pointers again during my assessment, and felt calmer and more in control of the appointment as a result. While some of these steps aren’t easy to take, I can attest to the fact that they will make your medical appointment more beneficial, and hopefully result in you receiving the support and treatment you need.
Keep a mood diary or journal
Maintaining a diary for a few weeks – or even months – can give the doctor a picture of how much you’ve been struggling, and how the symptoms you’ve been experiencing have been affecting you. In the moment, it can feel daunting to recall everything, and ensure you’re not missing anything important. The journal can be a helpful tool to take some of the pressure off. Entries don’t have to be long, with bullet points explaining your symptoms for each day. Bullet points will also make it quicker and easier for your doctor to look through.
Write down what you want to say
If a journal or diary is too much, or you don’t have the time before your appointment, you could instead just focus on writing down some notes about what you need to say beforehand. When we’re feeling mentally or physically unwell it can make us forgetful, and hinder us from explaining ourselves in as much detail as we’d like. So having some notes can act as a useful point of reference on the day.
With many conditions, we can’t show a doctor what’s wrong then and there; they rely on what we describe at the appointment. Having some clear, concise points to refer to can not only ease anxiety, or be helpful reminders if you’re feeling upset or overwhelmed, but can give you confidence that you’re covering the most important points. Additionally, if you’re really struggling, and feel you can’t speak clearly enough, you can give your written notes to the doctor to read.
Ask for a double appointment
An average appointment can go by in a flash – 10 minutes often doesn’t seem long enough when you’re feeling mentally or physically unwell, never mind when you’re under pressure and struggling to explain yourself. You may also have the additional worry of being overly conscious of time, rather than focusing on what you need to convey. If you do feel rushed, you might leave feeling frustrated that you forgot something you wanted to discuss.
Most doctor’s surgeries have the option of making a double appointment. These are often made for people with more than one problem to discuss, or if their needs are more complex. Don’t feel pressured to take a regular appointment if you have a lot to cover; you deserve to be heard, and have the time and space to discuss how you’re feeling and your treatment.
Take someone with you
Having an advocate – whether that’s a partner, family member, or close friend – with you can provide some relief. It can feel like less pressure when you have a backup, which can reduce any anxiety you’re feeling about it.
The benefit of someone who knows you well, and what you’re struggling with, joining you is that it not only provides you with support, but means you have someone who can corroborate your symptoms. Because they are coming from an outsider’s perspective, your advocate may also have additional insights and helpful information about your condition.
It can be worth having a discussion with them ahead of the appointment to help them get on the same page about what you want to say, so if you forget anything, they can step in to fill in the blanks. It can also be reassuring that if you feel you’re not being taken seriously during the appointment, they can be a supportive voice on your behalf.
Be assertive
This is a difficult one when you’re feeling unwell, but it’s important to try to speak up for yourself. You know best how you’re feeling, and how your symptoms are affecting you, and this is your opportunity to make this clear. Sometimes we can worry that being assertive can come across as confrontational, or we may feel uncomfortable being direct. However, in reality, it’s about making the most of your appointment to express yourself confidently and articulately.
To help with this, here are 10 questions to have to hand that you may want to ask during a medical appointment:
- What tests do I need and what are they for?
- How and when will I get my results?
- How long will I need treatment for?
- How effective is the treatment and how will I know it’s working?
- What side-effects can I expect, and is there anything I need to watch out for?
- Are there any alternatives to treat my condition?
- How can I best manage my condition?
- What support is there for someone with this illness/condition?
- Do I need to make lifestyle changes?
- Do I need to come back to see you, or will I be referred?
Remember, there are no wrong questions, so if there’s something that comes to mind that you’re curious about, don’t be afraid to ask it – there are no silly or irrelevant questions if it’s something you’d like to know. And remember, the more you ask, the more likely you’ll receive all the information you need. This appointment is about you and your health, so you take your time and ask whatever you need to feel more comfortable moving forwards.
Whether it’s preparing notes in advance, drafting in support, or considering your questions, there are numerous ways to help combat the anxiety that medical appointments can bring. The goal is to get support, so stick with it, and remember to speak up for yourself. It will be worth it in the end.
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