How to support a partner with seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

Learn how to weather out the storm, together

With grey skies, icy temperatures, and impossibly short days, winter in the UK seems to last a lifetime. For one in 20 people, it can also mean living with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). This type of depression comes and goes with the seasons, and while most people associate SAD with the winter months, it is possible to experience symptoms in the summer.

For those supporting a partner or loved one with SAD, watching them struggle with low mood, fatigue, and withdrawal can feel overwhelming. While you can’t change the dreary weather or instantly lift their spirits, understanding SAD and learning how to provide meaningful support can help you both navigate these challenging months.

Recognise the signs

Being aware of how SAD manifests can help you stay alert to any changes in your partner’s mood or behaviour. It’s also worth mentioning that men are more likely to be diagnosed with SAD than women, and with men accounting for three-quarters of all suicides in the UK, encouraging open conversations around mental health is crucial.

Don’t judge

Living with SAD can be incredibly frustrating for the person affected. If you’ve never experienced it yourself, you might struggle to understand why your partner can’t just perk themselves up, or lean into the season by doing things to boost their mood. Know that your partner is not choosing to feel this way, and they probably feel some element of shame or guilt, so try not to exacerbate those feelings by dismissing their condition. Try not to blame them, or pressure them into enjoying themselves. Instead, show compassion and validate their experience by saying things like: “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’m here for you.”

Give them gentle encouragement

Getting natural sunlight in the winter months is crucial for anyone with SAD, so try to encourage your partner to get outside when they can. If they need extra support, offer to take regular outings with them, or ask friends and family to pitch in and help. When the time outside is also a social gathering, this can make it easier to commit to and more enjoyable. But be careful not to pressure them into doing anything they’re not ready for. For example, if they’re feeling exhausted and irritable, trust them when they say they would prefer some alone time instead of seeing friends.

When they are at home, do what you can to maximise light during the day. This might mean opening curtains, cutting back trees or foliage from windows, or if they work from home, recommending that they move their desk to a position that maximises light exposure.

Seek treatment

Encourage them to seek professional help, and offer practical support to make that happen. SAD is a kind of depression, so it’s best to get a formal diagnosis from a GP to make sure they receive the most effective treatment. The doctor might be able to offer medication, therapy, or recommend local support groups. Whether you offer to attend the appointment with them, or simply remind them to take their medication, be sure to let them know that you’re there for them, and want them to feel better.

Look after yourself too

Being in a caring role for a loved one is a big responsibility. You may find yourself worrying about the future, harbouring anger towards your partner, or not wanting to be around them when they are depressed. On top of that, you may also experience guilt and shame because of those internal thought patterns. These emotions are very common for anyone who cares for a loved one, so don’t beat yourself up. Instead, take it as a sign that you’ve perhaps neglected to care for yourself in this process, and make changes to address it.

Think about what boosts your mood and create time for that, aiming to make those activities a key part of your own mental health plan. For example, you might need to ensure you get regular social time with friends away from your partner, to enjoy yourself without worrying about how your partner is feeling. You might need to vent about how hard you’re finding the experience, so be sure to open up to people you trust to process those emotions. Talking to a counsellor is also a powerful way to make sense of what you’re feeling while supporting your partner. By taking care of yourself in the process, you’ll be better equipped to provide the care and understanding they need, throughout all the seasons.