Divorce coaching vs marriage counselling: What’s the difference?

We explain more about the differences between marriage counselling and divorce coaching, and how you can find the right support for you

Sometimes, relationships come to a natural conclusion. Other times, we aren’t quite sure where we want our relationship to go; we just know that we’re feeling stuck, and something needs to change. You might be feeling confused, guilty, scared, or simply exhausted from going around in circles – and that’s completely understandable. If you are struggling to figure out the next steps of what’s right for you – as a couple, or as individuals – it could be a sign that it’s time to do something. 

Different experts offer different kinds of help and support, depending on what you hope to get out of support – and how you hope things will go. So… what’s the difference between marriage counselling and divorce coaching? 

Counselling vs divorce coaching: What’s the difference?

Marriage counselling

Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy and couples counselling, is a type of therapy designed to help couples facing issues within a romantic relationship. Attended together typically or individually at times, marriage therapy creates a safe, neutral space where you can talk about past and present concerns, issues, or pressure points in your relationship. 

While a counsellor isn’t there to tell you what to do, they are there to help facilitate conversation between you and your partner, as you try to:

• reconnect
• realign your values
• reflect on how the past is affecting your present
• learn how to communicate again in a more constructive way
• learn why arguments might be escalating and how to de-escalate them
• resolve conflicts together

You might go to marriage counselling for a wide variety of different issues, from financial worries or a lack of trust, to family conflict, life changes, or trying to navigate your relationship after a betrayal or affair. Some couples see marriage counselling as a ‘last resort’; however, it often doesn’t have to be the case. Many couples use therapy as a way to strengthen and grow their relationship and understanding of each other before smaller concerns can grow into bigger worries. Reaching out for support doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it can simply mean you care enough to want things to improve.

Couples therapy aims to help individuals understand both themselves and their partner better. While individual goals and aims can vary between couples and individuals themselves, the primary goal of couples therapy and marriage counselling is often to improve, strengthen, or repair romantic relationships through the improvement of communication, learning to resolve conflicts, and increasing emotional intimacy. Through addressing areas of concern and strengthening feelings of love, respect, and affection, as well as ensuring that individual needs are being met, marriage counselling can be seen as a way of trying to repair and strengthen your relationship. 

But what if your relationship has run its course, or there are areas where what you want and need are no longer aligned? Marriage counselling can sometimes feel frustrating, and may not always be as successful as you hope if:

• one or both partners have already emotionally checked out or moved on
• separation has already been decided, and one or both partners would prefer to remain separated
• conversations continue to escalate into high conflict without resolution

Sometimes, the aim shifts from reconciliation towards separation or divorce. In those cases, a different kind of support may be more helpful.

Divorce coaching

Unlike marriage counselling or couples coaching, where you address concerns that are holding you back and look to move forward together, divorce coaching is designed to support individuals who have separated, are in the process of divorce, or have gone through divorce. 

Divorce coaching is a future-focused, practical, individual-centred form of support aimed at you – not your relationship – as you navigate uncertainty, separation, or the divorce process itself. While couples therapy often focuses on the past and how it might be affecting your present, divorce coaching tends to focus on clarity, practical planning, and identifying your next steps. It might help you:

• prepare for difficult conversations 
• manage feelings of stress and overwhelm 
• start setting goals for life after divorce
• help with strategies and planning for co-parenting arrangements
• support you in rebuilding your confidence, setting boundaries, and focusing on your independence

Having a divorce coach is often an additional part of the process, rather than a replacement. There are many different types of professionals who can help with the divorce process. A coach isn’t a therapist, and isn’t legal counsel. 

You might still work with a divorce counsellor to help you gain closure, or to look back at underlying problems that might have gone unnoticed or felt impossible at the time, to help minimise hurt feelings and reduce hostility in the future. You might seek legal support if you are going through a high-conflict divorce or if splitting assets is more complicated. Or you might work with a mediator to find fair, practical solutions without going to court. 

A divorce coach can support you as an individual alongside other professionals, helping you to navigate change and look towards the future. 

How do I know what the right choice is for me?

It’s common to feel torn between wanting to fix things and wanting relief from the stress you’re under. Only you and your partner can decide what feels right. You might start by asking yourselves: Do I genuinely want to repair this relationship, and does my partner? 

If the answer is yes for both of you, moving towards counselling could be the right step. If you are unsure, one partner is reluctant to try counselling or another method of support or change, conflict feels like it is constant or escalating, or you have decided on a separation or divorce, coaching may be a form of support to consider. 

Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It’s an emotional, logistical, and financial one that affects you both and any children you might have together or separately. Working with different professionals – be they counsellors, therapists, or coaches – can help to provide support in different areas, at a time when you might be feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or uncertain of what’s next. 

Finding your way forward

Choosing the right kind of support for you isn’t about finding the ‘right’ label, or picking a single ‘best’ option; it’s about finding the kind of support that feels right for you, and your individual situation. If your goal is to repair your relationship together, couples counselling can be a powerful tool. If your goal is to find forward-focused support during separation, divorce, or following divorce, coaching may be worth considering. 

Whether your situation is high conflict or amicable, how you move through this chapter matters. The right support can reduce stress, improve communication, and help you make thoughtful decisions, rather than reactive ones.