Not all anxiety is created equal – some forms will have you believing that you’re thriving…
Organised, driven, and calm under pressure: if this sounds like you, they might be qualities you’re proud of or even traits you’ve been praised for. Yet, these same qualities could signal high-functioning anxiety (HFA) – a unique form of anxiety that often hides behind a veneer of ‘having it all together.’
HFA is a silent challenge, where individuals may look calm and collected on the surface, but experience a whirlwind of stress and worry underneath. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there are tools and strategies that can help.
Dr Lalitaa Suglani, a world-leading psychologist, leadership coach, international speaker, and author of High Functioning Anxiety, shares how we can manage HFA with greater awareness and ease.
According to Dr Suglani, HFA is often hard to identify because individuals experiencing it tend to push themselves to excel, masking their inner struggles. “While they meet their goals and maintain relationships, they may also grapple with fear of failure, overthinking, and an inability to relax, often experiencing symptoms like racing thoughts, physical tension, and insomnia,” she explains.
Dr Suglani emphasises that although HFA may be less visible, it is very real. “With mindful strategies and support, it’s possible to manage these challenges, and lead a balanced, fulfilling life,” she says. So, how can we put that into practice?
Practise mindfulness
HFA often thrives on a relentless stream of ‘what if’ thoughts: what if I can’t get through this presentation? What if I don’t pass this test? What if they don’t like me? What if I’ve made a huge mistake? These looping questions can feel overwhelming and keep the mind stuck in worst-case scenarios. Dr Suglani suggests practising regular mindfulness exercises to break this cycle. Techniques such as deep breathing, body scans, or brief meditation sessions can help shift your focus from future fears to the present moment, grounding your thoughts and calming an anxious mind.
Set realistic boundaries
Ah, boundaries. Most of us know we should set them, yet putting them into practice can be easier said than done. But taking time to understand your needs and align them with your values is key to establishing boundaries that support your wellbeing. However, Dr Suglani shares that people with HFA often struggle to say ‘No’, leading to overcommitment and stress.
“Learning to prioritise tasks, delegating when possible, and setting clear limits can prevent burnout and help maintain a healthier balance,” she says. Remember, boundaries aren’t about saying ‘no’ to others, they’re about saying ‘yes’ to yourself and your needs.
Challenge perfectionism
Something that goes hand-in-hand with the ‘what if’ train of thought is perfectionism. We often believe that if we do everything flawlessly, we’ll finally feel secure, or achieve our goals. But here’s the kicker: because this is based on your own high standards, the goalposts are always moving. Dr Suglani suggests that instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress. “Remind yourself that mistakes are part of growth, that every small step counts, and that your worth is not dependent on a flawless performance.”
Schedule relaxation time
For someone with HFA, relaxation might feel like a waste of time when you could be striving toward productivity and perfection. But Dr Suglani suggests treating relaxation as essential, just as you would schedule work or personal commitments. She recommends setting aside time for genuine relaxation and hobbies – not reading to fuel a BookTok account or candle-making as a weekend side hustle, but true time to switch off and simply be. “Engaging in enjoyable activities can help shift your focus away from stressors, foster a sense of calm, and boost overall wellbeing,” Dr Suglani shares.
Seek professional support
Reaching out for help might feel daunting, or even unnecessary, if you believe you’ve got it all together. However, Dr Suglani shares that therapy can provide valuable tools for managing anxiety. Even if you’re not experiencing obvious symptoms – like a racing heart or sweaty palms – chronic tension, a whirring mind, and trouble sleeping aren’t normal either, and they deserve attention.
“Working with a mental health professional can help you identify and understand underlying triggers and patterns, develop healthier ways to cope, and build resilience,” she says, emphasising that support can make a meaningful difference.
We’re not suggesting that being competent and accomplished isn’t worth striving for. But if your achievements are coming at the cost of your mental health, it’s worth considering if underlying anxiety might be driving your need to succeed. If you’re only showing others the good side and hiding your anxious self, there may be more self-doubt than self-confidence beneath the surface. These tools are here to remind you that you really are good enough, just as you are.
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