Learning how to spot the tell-tale signs of self-stigma is the first step to addressing it

When it comes to common forms of mental health problems, we live in an increasingly open society. More and more, discussion around mental health is being normalised – however, stigma in many forms does still exist, and one particularly sinister way it can impact us is when it’s coming from the inside.

When we talk about ‘stigma’, we’re often referring to prejudiced ideas about a group of people. Often, these ideas may be based on stereotypes, fear, or misunderstanding and can lead to discrimination, exclusion, and mistreatment. ‘Self-stigma’– sometimes called ‘internalised stigma’ – refers to negative ideas or attitudes that we have about ourselves and our mental health. It’s when we take those broader feelings that we may hold about others, and apply them to ourselves.

It’s a topic of imperative importance. Not only can self-stigma cause distress in the moment, but it can do long-term harm as it can prevent individuals from reaching out for the support that they need.

The first step to addressing it is to understand how to recognise it. Here, we’ve pulled together five key signs of self-stigma.

1. You are hesitant to call a condition what it is

Not every experience of poor mental health is necessarily a mental health condition. For example, you can experience periods of anxiety without having a diagnosable anxiety disorder. That said, a sign of self-stigma is a reluctance to speak about mental health in explicit terms – and this covers day-to-day experiences as well as more serious conditions.

Talking about mental health in frank terms not only helps to communicate the experience to others – be that friends and family or medical and mental health professionals – but also helps you and others to identify when more support is needed, for example, recognising the difference between ‘going through a rough patch’ and being depressed.

2. You believe you are responsible for your mental health condition

This is a belief that may come from prejudices about other people – for example, people with mental illnesses are lazy or aren’t trying hard enough to be well, are exaggerating conditions, or are irresponsible. These kinds of assumptions are harmful and wrong but, when turned inward, they can have further detrimental effects.

For example, someone who feels that they are responsible for the negative feelings that they have may try to resolve them on their own. Of course, self-help is a legitimate route to take, but unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance use, overexertion, or another impulsive ‘quick-fix’ can only exacerbate the problem.

The reality is that mental health conditions can happen to anyone, and no one who lives with one ‘deserves it’.

3. You experience feelings of shame and embarrassment

Self-stigma can often lead to difficult emotions such as shame and embarrassment, which can be rooted in the belief that you are responsible for what is happening to you – and therefore you are not trying hard enough to fix it, are weak, are a bad person, etc. If you hold a stigma towards others, those judgmental feelings may also shift towards yourself, bringing all that prejudice and negative feelings along with it.

These feelings can trap you in a vicious cycle that can lead you to push those feelings down even further – exacerbating them in the long run.

4. You hold on to stereotypes

Self-stigma may lead a person to believe negative stereotypes about themselves, to the point that it prevents them from engaging in certain areas of life.

For example, they may feel unlovable or that they could not have a long-term relationship, get married, or have children. They may also believe that they cannot have a job or engage in community or social activities. Or they may have an overall sense that a rich and fulfilling life is out of reach.

It is true that people with mental health problems may find certain areas of life harder than those without, but with the right support from the people in their lives, as well as from mental health professionals, many live full and healthy lives.

5. You feel alienated from others

You may experience this on two fronts. Firstly, you may find that you feel alienated from the people in your life who do not have the same mental health conditions – you may blame yourself for not functioning the same way that they do. Secondly, you may also feel alienated from others with similar conditions, as self-stigma might be feeding you ideas about how or why they are experiencing a mental health problem. These feelings can lead to social withdrawal, which may only further the problem.

So, what’s next?

Learning how to spot the signs of self-stigma is the right place to start. The next step is to take the time to challenge and break down those negative beliefs that you may hold about yourself and about others.

Learn more about the condition (Happiful’s Wellbeing A–Z is a good place to start) to improve your understanding of it – and, when you’re ready, consider reaching out to others. You may begin with the people closest to you, or you may choose to speak to a GP or mental health professional. Whatever decision you make, small steps make a big difference in the long run.