Breaking down misconceptions around seeking professional support, to ensure stigma doesn’t hold you back from making your mental health a priority

Nowadays, it’s becoming more common to take pride in looking after your mental health. Perhaps you proudly plan a self-care day to soothe anxiety, or try dopamine dressing to boost your mood. But when it comes to therapy, you’re just not sure it’s for you.

Often, this reluctance comes from misconceptions about what it means to be ‘in therapy’, and who it’s for. Misleading portrayals in media and everyday conversations fuel these myths, causing people to miss out on potentially life-changing support. So, we’re debunking the most common therapy myths with the guidance of counsellor Abigail Holman.

MYTH: Therapy is only for people with severe mental illnesses or those in crisis.

We sometimes think about therapy as a last resort, something we’ll get to later after we’ve tried everything else in our self-care toolkit. “I often hear from clients who didn’t feel they were ‘bad enough’ to seek counselling,” says Abigail, “which means they may have struggled for a long time without support, before eventually seeking therapy.”

Of course, therapy is valuable for those in crisis. But as Abigail explains: “It can also help with things like improving self-esteem to feel more confident in relationships, tackling imposter syndrome when going for a promotion, or setting boundaries in tricky family situations.”

Accessing therapy when you’re relatively stable will set the stage to build a strong connection with your therapist. You’ll also be able to absorb information and learn new skills when you’re not in crisis. This means if your wellbeing does take a dip, you’ll be better positioned to receive support from a therapist you trust, using tools you’re already familiar with.

MYTH: Talking to a therapist is no different from talking to a friend.

Talking about your emotional experiences can make you feel incredibly vulnerable, so it makes sense that talking to a friend would seem like the obvious place to go. While it’s important to have a strong support network around you, talking to a therapist offers a distinct form of support.

“Therapy gives you a dedicated space solely focused on helping you make meaningful progress,” says Abigail. “Friends are likely to take your side out of loyalty, no matter what (in therapy, we call this colluding), but a therapist provides a neutral space where you can openly explore every angle of an issue. As therapists, we are trained not to collude with our clients because, although it can provide perceived support in the moment, it may also prevent important issues from being fully explored.”

Good friends might want the best for you, but they might also sugarcoat things and avoid tough conversations. Therapists, on the other hand, are skillfully trained to facilitate such conversations towards a resolution. “This impartiality and openness can support in identifying patterns, reflecting on deeper concerns, and finding solutions, offering much more than just a space to vent,” says Abigail.

MYTH: Therapy is just about lying on a sofa and talking about your childhood.

There is value in examining your childhood, because it forms your worldview and determines how you feel, perceive, and react to current situations. However, therapists are trained in different approaches, and the style of therapy will depend on the specific modality they use.

“It’s true that some therapeutic approaches, like psychodynamic therapy, do focus heavily on childhood, but not all therapy is like that,” says Abigail.

“For instance, I was trained in person-centred therapy, and later incorporated other modalities, such as solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT). The way I work is very much about tailoring the session to what the client needs. We might explore the past if it’s useful, but we also focus on present-day issues, whether that’s learning coping mechanisms for stress, finding ways to communicate better, or building confidence.”

As Abigail highlights, the main thing is creating a safe space where clients feel comfortable to freely speak about their challenges in a non-judgemental environment. “Therapy can absolutely include working through past experiences if that’s what the client needs, but it can also be incredibly practical and focused on moving forward,” she says.

MYTH: Therapy is too expensive for most people in the UK.

Private therapy isn’t accessible to everyone, which is perhaps why the National Audit Office estimates 1.2 million people are on NHS mental health waiting lists. However, there are alternative routes to professional support.

For example, local charities offer free or low-cost therapy, and you might get access to therapy through your health insurance or workplace Employee Assistance Programmes (EAP). In some cases, you can even get help through your partner or family member’s EAP.

“Students at colleges and universities can often access free or low-cost counselling through their place of education,” says Abigail, “and some counsellors offer sliding scale fees and concessions for those in need. There are many ways to find support without breaking the bank.”

As an example, when searching for a therapist on the Counselling Directory website, you can filter results by budget to locate counsellors who offer concessionary rates.

Also, remember that therapy doesn’t need to be a weekly commitment. Most therapists are happy to schedule fortnightly appointments, which might make it more affordable to you.

MYTH: Online therapy isn’t as effective as in-person.

While the pandemic pushed many healthcare services online, a 2023 study of 27,540 NHS patients with mood or anxiety disorders, published in Nature Mental Health, found that internet-delivered CBT was just as effective as in-person sessions – and took less time to complete.

“There’s no evidence to suggest that online therapy is less effective than in-person sessions,” says Abigail. “What’s most important is finding the best format for you, and a therapist you feel comfortable opening up to.”

For people with busy schedules or limited budgets to spend on travel, talking online makes the therapeutic process more accessible. “Additionally, online therapy can open up more therapist options as you’re not bound by location, which is useful if you’re looking for specialist support,” Abigail says.

One of the biggest advantages of online counselling is the ability to log on from the comfort of your home. This can ease anxiety, and lead to more positive outcomes.

Ultimately, no one is going to be able to predict exactly what your experience will be in therapy. Whether you’re dealing with a crisis, navigating workplace issues, or simply want to understand yourself better, don’t let outdated perceptions hold you back from getting professional support, and leading the life you deserve.