From a passing “Hello” to the deeper chats we have with those closest to us, our social interactions might have a greater impact on our health than we think. We share 20 questions to help assess your social fitness

“Enjoying the weather?” We frequently have those brief conversations with a stranger in passing, perhaps whilst waiting for the train or out on a dog walk. We know we’re unlikely to see that person again, but even these small pockets of interaction might impact our health more than we realise. 

A study conducted in 2010 in the journal PLOS Medicine discovered that the quality of our social relationships is not only important for our mental health, but might even reduce the risk of mortality. The study, which looked at data from almost 309,000 participants, concluded that people with stronger social relationships could be 50% more likely to survive compared with those who have weaker connections. 

Most interestingly of all, the study determined that the effects of social interactions can be directly compared with well-known risk factors such as smoking and alcohol consumption, and weaker social relationships may even be a greater risk factor of morality than physical health, such as obesity. 

These findings suggest that we should be taking our social interactions just as seriously as other risk factors. But what exactly does ‘social fitness’ mean, and how can we assess the strength of our relationships? 

What is social fitness?

The term ‘social fitness’ refers to how you assess, build upon and optimise the relationships and interactions you have with other people. It is the act of deliberately choosing to engage with people or groups that nurture overall wellbeing and help us to perform at our best. This spans across all our social networks - from our relationships with partners, family and friends, to work colleagues and people in our communities. 

In an interview with BBC Science Focus, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Robert Waldinger, notes that the term ‘social fitness’ was coined to be deliberately comparable with physical fitness, as we now know that it’s just as important to our health and wellbeing. 

The benefits of social connection 

When we feel connectedness, we are less likely to experience stress, we can heal from difficult or traumatic events faster and we generally feel better able to cope. It’s suggested that when we are surrounded by people who care about us, we’re more likely to make healthier decisions – we have a greater sense of purpose, and more gratitude and we feel happier overall. This holistic outlook benefits our physical and mental health. 

However, if we experience loneliness, the effects are often the opposite. We can be more susceptible to stress, anxiety and depression, and in some cases may be more at risk of feeling suicidal. We may lack motivation and can even experience ill health as a result. Conclusively, healthy, happy interactions positively affect how we feel, whilst negative influences can be harmful.  

How do I do a social fitness assessment? 

When we consider physical and even mental health, it’s often easier to determine where we’re at. However, much like with these aspects of our health, our social fitness may look very different from the next person. Taking some time to consider what your ideal social support system looks like and questioning whether your relationships are fulfilling your needs can help you assess what might require action.

Consider the following questions to help you get started: 

  1. Do you have connections where you both give and receive support? 
  2. Who can you lean on and who leans on you (and in what instance)? 
  3. How do others support you and how do you support other people? 
  4. Who do you go to for emotional support? 
  5. Who do you go to when you need a listening ear? 
  6. Who gives you good advice? 
  7. Do you put in effort to maintain connections? Are you the only one putting in effort? 
  8. Who can you relate to? 
  9. Who can you trust no matter what? 
  10. Do you have people around you who help you get stuff done? 
  11. Who is there to tell it like it is? 
  12. Do you have a good balance of people who you are deeply connected with, as well as acquaintances? 
  13. Consider how many of your groups are interconnected - do you have friends who all know one another? 
  14. Who can you always communicate effectively with?
  15. Is there anyone with whom you find communication challenging? 
  16. Could I improve how I communicate and how might I do this? 
  17. How does my social fitness impact my total force fitness? (For example, do you find yourself being more physically active since meeting people in a sports group? Perhaps you’re more stressed after a recent conflict with a partner or friend?) 
  18. Where am I getting my social time? 
  19. Do I know someone who challenges me and encourages me to grow? 
  20. Who would I call in an emergency? 

An important takeaway here is that it’s not about the quantity of your relationships, but their quality. Whatever format, all our interactions matter – and if there’s one thing we’ve come to realise, it’s that, as humans, we all need each other.