What is the club sandwich generation?

With people living longer lives than ever before, it can create a whole new kind of pressure for those facing the responsibility of caring for multiple generations. Here’s everything you need to know about the club sandwich generation

Globally, we’re living longer than ever before. It’s estimated by 2030, one in six will be 60 years old or older and, according to the World Health Organization, by 2050, there will be around 2.1 billion people aged 60 and older, with 426 million over the age of 80. While the prospect of living a longer life is great news for many, it does bring with it some unexpected challenges.

It’s estimated around 6 million people in the UK consider themselves to be in the club sandwich generation. With more people living longer lives with varying degrees of health and extra help needed, it can create a strain on younger generations that many may not have anticipated before. This can lead to a ‘club sandwich’ generation – a whole generation caring for two or more generations at once.

What is the club sandwich generation?

The ‘Club sandwich generation’ refers to people who are responsible for caring for more than one generation of family members. The term refers to the idea that some adults are ‘sandwiched’ between two (or more) dependent generations. This could mean caring for children, parents, and even grandparents, all while trying to juggle their own careers and home lives.

People can become part of the generation at many different points in their lives. For example, this could mean that while we might expect to support family such as young children and ageing parents in our 20s-40s, we can end up with even more responsibilities with our grandparents still needing support too. Those in their 40s-60s may find themselves caring for their adult children, grandchildren and their own aging parents all at once, while older retirees may even find themselves helping three younger generations thanks to rising costs of childcare, all while having their own growing need for support.

Caring for older generations isn’t the only thing putting additional pressure on people in the club sandwich generation. Thanks to the cost of living, many have seen their adult children returning or staying at home for longer to try and save money. According to the ONS, 4.9 million people in England have moved back in with their parents in an attempt to save money thanks to the cost of living crisis.

It’s not just the cost of our living situations that are leading more of us to rely on family, as thanks to the cost of childcare for nursery aged children (the third highest childcare costs in the world according to data from the OECD), many families need to rely on their parents to help out with childcare.

But what can this mean for those who feel stuck in the middle? And how can we acknowledge the pressure we’re feeling, without upsetting those that we love?

Dealing with guilt, worry, stress and resentment when caring for others

Looking after those we care about can be not only a privilege, but can also feel like a painful obligation. It’s hard to admit when we’re struggling – especially when we’re struggling to juggle all of life’s often messy, overwhelming intricacies while caring for people we love.

There’s a certain level of expectation when it comes to supporting family. If we love someone, why wouldn’t we want to be there for them when they need us the most? But it doesn’t always feel that simple – especially when you have the care for multiple people, with different needs, all landing on you.

Caring for others comes with a whole range of complex emotions, feelings, and pressures that can change over time. You may feel fine with how many responsibilities you have one week, then overwhelmed with the pressure of it all the next. Acknowledging how you are feeling, talking through with your loved ones, and remembering to look after yourself, too, are all important steps. It can be worth trying to:

Explore your feelings - whether these are positive or negative, recognising, acknowledging, and accepting how you are feeling can help in numerous ways. This can include reducing feelings of growing anger and resentment, helping you to better understand your relationships and communicate your needs, as well as to recognise areas where things may need to change. Minimising or avoiding your feelings can negatively impact your mental health and wellbeing, leading to feelings of disconnect, trouble expressing yourself, and even experiencing anxiety and depression.

Acknowledge the benefits - there can be positives to being part of a sandwich generation too. For example, if you find yourself living with adult children or aging parents, you may find yourself feeling a greater sense of community and closeness as you get to see your extended family more often. This can also give you more chance to do activities together that you may not otherwise do, such as cooking or gardening – both of which can help reduce stress, improve mood, and focus on creation over perfectionism.

If you find yourself caring more for grandchildren or greatgrandchildren, this can also give the opportunity to foster closer bonds that might otherwise not have been possible if not for the additional time you now have together.

Recognise the challenges - just like there are good points, there are challenges in caring for or living with parents and adult children, too. You might experience anxiety around how your personal time, space, and privacy may be affected. Ensuring that you acknowledge these worries and work towards setting (and keeping) healthy boundaries can help protect your physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

Take time for yourself - we’ve all heard the old addage, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ – that’s just as true when you’re trying to care for others. Making time for self-care, as well as ensuring you still have time to do things that bring you joy and feel restorative is important to avoid feelings growing stress, of overwhelm, and ultimately, burnout. Self-care can come in a variety of different forms, from spending time alone to setting boundaries; it’s important to find the way that works best for you.

Nurture your relationship as a couple - with so many other family members relying on one or both people in a relationship thanks to parents on both sides, it can be easy to start to feel distant from one another. You mayo struggle to make time for yourselves as a couple, and eventually, you may even reach burnout point.

Being open, honest, and communicative with eathother can help to address any residual feelings of guilt, shame, or overwhelm. It can also help to talk through and feelings of resentment, or worries that there may be an imbalance in caring responsibilities leading to additional strain.

If you find yourselves having issues with connecting, communicating, or resolving conflict without disagreements escalating, couples therapy can help.

Family therapy can also offer the opportunity for multiple generations of your family to talk openly together, better understand each other, and resolve conflicts in a safe, supportive space.

While the weight of caregiving can feel heavy, it is also a profound act of love. By finding balance — through open communication, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care — we can support not just our loved ones but also ourselves. With these tools, the club sandwich generation can transform from a source of stress into a testament to the enduring strength of family ties. Together, we can reimagine what multigenerational living looks like, embracing its potential to create stronger bonds and a supportive community.