It may be time to ditch the convenience of DMs and write a letter instead – perhaps even to a complete stranger…
Growing up, Hannah Brencher regularly received letters. Her mother left them everywhere – hidden around the house, slipped into suitcases, and posted directly to her when she left for college. So, when she found herself feeling disconnected while living in New York City, Hannah decided to mirror her mother’s habit – but it unfolded in a way that she could never have predicted.
“I was struggling with depression, and, as a way to cope, I began writing love letters to people I saw around the city,” explains Hannah, founder of moreloveletters.com. “That small act evolved into me blogging about it, and inviting others to request letters if they needed encouragement. I never expected it to take off, but over the next nine months, I wrote more than 400 letters to strangers all across the world.”
Since then, Hannah has led a movement that has reached six continents, all 50 American states, and more than 70 countries, delivering countless ‘love letter bundles’ to people when they least expect it.
Letters of the past
Of course, written correspondence has existed in many forms, and served numerous functions, over the course of human history. Ancient Egyptians wrote letters on papyrus scrolls, whereas in China, letters were written on bamboo strips or silk. English naturalist Charles Darwin, wrote more than 15,000 letters in his lifetime, using them to discuss ideas and gather research to develop his work, such as the theory of natural selection. In 1860, 11-year-old Grace Bedell wrote to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln, suggesting he grow a beard to appear more electable. Shortly after, Lincoln did just that – later meeting Grace and acknowledging her influence. During World War II, receiving letters from home was considered essential for soldier morale, which led to innovative new solutions to ensure mail was delivered efficiently.
Nowadays, Royal Mail reports a decline in the volume of letters in circulation, with the current figure just 6.7 billion per year (which once peaked at 20 billion). While technology such as texting, video calls, and emails, is often considered more efficient, Hannah is keen to point out that the intentionality is what makes letters so meaningful. “A handwritten letter symbolises something tangible within a digital world. It represents that someone cleared space, took time, and was fully present to show up for someone else.”
And while environmental concerns may also play a role, digital communications still form carbon emissions – and this intentionality with forming a letter could mean you send far less back and forth emails in the long-run.
More than just a throwaway piece of correspondence, letters provide a tangible item that can be revisited and treasured. “When we talk to people who have gone through tragedy or a natural disaster, they often mention a box of letters they grabbed before leaving their home,” says Hannah. “Handwritten letters hold incredible power – something that a text or email just doesn’t seem to replicate.”
Loving letters
So what is it about letter-writing that makes it so magical? Well, one intergenerational penpal project that matches University of Leeds students with older Yorkshire residents, notes its ability to address the loneliness epidemic. Results showed that 94% of students who took part said that writing letters had a positive effect on their mental wellbeing, and 95% of older participants agreed.
Psychotherapist Ellie Rowland-Callanan says that writing letters offers an alternative to superficial aspects of communication that are pervasive in modern culture. “Many clients I work with, who use dating apps, have experienced the false intimacy of constant messaging, only to find that the relationship doesn’t translate in person,” she explains. “The short form nature of texts and DMs can make it hard to understand the nuances of what the other person is saying, causing breakdowns in communication.”
Letter writing provides a more deliberate response. “It offers time and space to choose what you want to say. The psychological benefits of exploring this approach may include reduced anxiety, more self-awarenes, and clearer communication of boundaries.”
Community words
More Love Letters is unique in allowing you to connect with people you’ve never met. Every month, several lucky recipients are selected (anyone can nominate someone via moreloveletters.com) and the community handwrites letters of hope and encouragement. Then, hundreds of love letters are bundled up and mailed to the nominated individuals.
Nominees are regular people in need of support – from a caregiver experiencing grief, to a cancer survivor whose home was lost in the recent LA wildfires. Often, people will see something in the stranger’s story that resonates with them, which compels them to reach out via the written word. “To me, that’s incredibly powerful,” says Hannah. “The idea that we don’t need to fully know someone, or understand everything they’ve been through, to have a moment of connection, relation, and love.”
The exercise of writing to a stranger can foster hope for the sender as well as the recipient. “People are often surprised by how much they personally gain from sitting down and writing letters. It’s easy to come across our organisation online, and assume you’re signing up to help others. Still, in reality, you become the beneficiary of all the positive effects of letter writing.”
Hannah believes that shifting your focus from your own worries to helping someone else is what makes the biggest impact. “When I was struggling with depression, that was huge for me. I didn’t realise it then, but every time I sat down to write a letter, I stepped away from my heavy, dark feelings and, instead, poured light, love, and encouragement into someone else’s day. That simple act made a profound difference.”
Picking up the pen
If you’re inspired to take part, you can visit moreloveletters.com to get started, but you can also try out the therapeutic approach of writing an ‘unsent letter’ to someone, such as an ex-partner, loved one, yourself, or even a past event. This is something that Ellie recommends as a tool for processing and understanding thoughts and feelings about an issue, or towards a specific person. “By writing a letter without the intention to send it, we can focus our writing, let out anger, sadness, grief, and a myriad other emotions, as well as read it back and understand our own unmet needs.”
To try it for yourself, set a timer for five minutes, and write your letter without editing. At the end of the five minutes, continue for another 10, or until the first draft is written. Read it back, acknowledging any tendencies to be critical, and setting them to one side. Consider the main points of the letter, any unmet needs which have arisen, and your feelings towards the person or issue you wrote about. This might feel uncomfortable at first, but remember it’s a personal process where presence is more important linguistic skills.
“Anyone can write a letter; they don’t need to be academic or especially verbose,” Ellie says. “Remember, you are the letter writer, and, perhaps unlike school experiences, no one is going to tell you off for doing it wrong. The practice of letter writing is about self-expression, not perfection.”
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