Money is a powerful weapon in the hands of an abuser; learn how to spot the signs that something isn’t right
Picture the scene: the bailiffs are battering on the front door, demanding you hand over goods worth £4,000 – there’s an overdue payment on your credit card. It’s a credit card you have no knowledge of. One your abusive partner has taken out in your name, and not paid a penny towards. Hiding the letters demanding payment, keeping you completely in the dark, this scenario is not the opening scenes of a TV drama; this is a real picture of economic abuse.
Here’s another one: you’re exhausted from working your day job plus an evening cleaning shift, all just to scrape together the rent, because your partner refuses to contribute a penny.
These are just two examples of what economic abuse looks like – a form of domestic abuse that comes in many guises.
What is economic abuse?
Simply put, it’s when a partner or ex-partner (although it could also be a family member) is controlling your ability to earn money, access money, or they are using you to get money. Invariably, it is not operating in isolation, but alongside other forms of abuse within the relationship.
Sometimes used interchangeably with the term ‘financial abuse’, economic abuse is broader – it goes beyond withholding or taking money. It is about someone else controlling your access to money and everything in life that money gives you access to. Denying you the opportunity to flourish and support yourself on your terms.
“Economic abuse is any barrier that stops the victim/survivor from being financially independent,” says Rennice, the senior services manager at domestic abuse charity Advance. “It is a tactic designed to claim power and control over the victim, making it as difficult as possible for them to leave the abusive relationship. The more dependent they are on the perpetrator, the more they believe they cannot survive without them, and are scared to try.”
Say you want to get a job, earn your own money, and enjoy the status and social stimulation of going to work and having colleagues, but your abuser is putting barriers in your way, doing everything to keep you at home and under their control, diminishing you. That could involve hiding your passport, driving licence, or other form of ID that you need to apply for a job. It might be the case that your abuser is making sure there is not enough money on your Oyster card to travel to a job interview, or hiding the car keys. It might be ensuring there is nothing in your wardrobe that is suitable to wear to a job interview. All these things are about controlling you through economic means.
Or it could be the case that you are allowed to work, but not for yourself – for your abuser, so that you can pay their way. Pay for their car loan; mobile phone contract; designer clothes, or their share of the rent. You and the kids get what little money is left over and your abuser dictates exactly how much that is, and what you get to spend it on.
. Forces you to take out money or get credit in your name.
. Makes you hand over control of your accounts – this could include changing your login details.
. Cashes in your pension or other cheques without your permission.
. Adds their name to your account.
. Pressures you to change your will in a way you’re not comfortable with.
. Has offered to buy shopping or pay bills with your money, but takes it, and doesn’t use the money how you agreed.
. Asks you to prove what you’ve spent your money on.
. Stops you from accessing your bank, loan, or credit card accounts.
. Controls what you can and cannot spend your money on.
. Sets up direct debits from your account to pay bills which aren’t yours, or pay for goods and services which you haven’t bought.
. Pressures you to arrange for your benefits to be paid into a bank account you don’t have.
. Makes you take out new insurance policies or stops you from paying your existing ones.
“Like other forms of domestic abuse, economic abuse escalates,” explains Gabriela Rojas Perez, team manager of Advance’s Angelou domestic abuse service. “Economic abuse will almost always be accompanied by other forms of abuse, most likely emotional and psychological abuse, which make it easier for the abuser to use financial dependence as a tactic of power and control.
“As with all forms of abuse, economic abuse can be very manipulative,” Gabriela continues. “Gaslighting is often used by the abuser to convince a partner that they are not ‘good’ with money, or tend to forget things. They will say things like ‘It’s best if I look after money matters,’ and make the victims believe that.”
While economic abuse can take a very coercive form and can happen to anyone, it’s essential to remember that there are ways out of an abusive situation, and specialist support is available to you. Gabriela advises trying to make a safety plan when escaping abuse: keep some cash, whatever amount you can put aside, and your passport (it’s essential that you have a form of ID in your possession) in a place where the abuser will not find it. Also, contact your bank to seek support for financial abuse, and change passwords for online banking when safe to do so.
And when you are out of the situation, you don’t have to go it completely alone. The Debt and Finance Coordinator role was created at charity Advance in 2022 to address the unique financial needs of women learning how to live on their own and be in control of their finances, while going through the emotional trauma connected to their abuse. So, if you are experiencing economic abuse, seek support from a domestic abuse charity, and know that help is available to you whenever you need it.
. 5.5 million women in the UK have been affected by economic abuse, according to Experian plc.
. Surviving Economic Abuse research revealed one in 11 women have had access to their bank account restricted by a current or ex, and one in 13 have had credit taken out in their name without consent – equivalent to 2.1 million women.
. In 2022, at least 40% of women supported by Advance had experienced economic abuse.
If you live in London, you can call Advance for free on 0800 059 0108 or visit advancecharity.org.uk. Or you can call The National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free on 0808 2000 247.
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