A new study suggests that people over 60 have better mental health when they live apart but together than when they are single 

Data from the UK Household Longitudinal Study, which covers almost 100,000 individuals and 40,000 households, was analysed between 2011 and 2023. Researchers tracked those who were 60 and above and studied their relationships and mental health. Specifically, they examined differences in mental health among those who were single, cohabiting, married or “living apart together” (LAT). The findings suggest that people who meet age 60 and above have better wellbeing when they live apart but together, rather than choosing to cohabit. 

What does it mean to ‘live apart but together’ (LAT)?

Living apart, together (LAT) refers to people in a committed romantic relationship living in separate residences. This might be next door to one another, on the same street, in the same town, or even in different countries. Long-distance relationships differ from LAT in that there is usually an external factor in the form of geographical separation that prevents partners from being able to live together. 

People may choose to live apart but together for various reasons, including wanting to maintain personal autonomy and independence. For many, this choice means partners are more intentional about making time and demonstrating care for one another, with couples reporting higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Those who enter into this living arrangement feel that they experience the mental health benefits of being in a romantic relationship, whilst avoiding the “frictions” or superficial annoyances that might come with cohabiting. 

The survey found that the prevalence of LAT relationships in the UK is around 3 - 4%, with this arrangement being 10 times more likely for older women and 20 times more likely for older men than cohabitation. Researchers found that, whilst having a partner may offer slightly better mental health than being single in people over the age of 60, the wellbeing risks of a LAT breakup are thought to be fewer than separation or divorce. 

LAT relationships aren’t necessarily on the rise amongst older people - we’re just becoming more aware of it. However, with this growing awareness, we could see younger generations intentionally opting for this living arrangement. 

Whether you’re an older person yourself or someone you know is living apart together with a partner or partners, relationships – whatever their dynamic – aren’t always plain sailing. If you’re experiencing loneliness, finding it hard to connect with other people or feel you’re struggling with your mental health, working with a counsellor or therapist could help you. Find out more about older people’s counselling and connect with a professional on Counselling Directory.