Welcome to Anxiety on Your Mind, the series where we explore the reality of living with anxiety. In this edition, Vicky Payne, 33, from the Forest of Dean, shares her strategies for managing anxiety during a busy week…
Vicky Payne as told to Fiona Fletcher Reid
While other people talk about the Sunday scaries, I’m more prone to anxiety on Mondays. It’s always a packed day: dropping our dog off at daycare in the morning; a full workday in my role as a registry manager; and then choir rehearsal in the evening.
Having dealt with anxiety since my teenage years, I’ve learned strategies along the way to ease the pressure. Even though my schedule is packed on a Monday, I figured out that I can reframe it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by trying to squeeze everything in, I acknowledge that it’s simply a busy day. There’s nothing to be fixed, and it’s not a reflection on my coping skills – it’s just one day of the week that is busier than the rest. This mindset shift allows me to show up to work and choir with realistic expectations of myself. It sounds counter-intuitive, but just knowing that I might feel pushed to my limits takes the pressure off, and eases my anxiety. Plus, I often grab a quick drink after choir, which gives me a lovely social reward at the end of what can be a stressful start to the week.
Another thing that significantly impacts my mood is tiredness. By the end of Tuesday, I can start to feel anxiety creeping in, especially since I wasn’t able to eat proper meals on Monday while rushing around. I’m trying to get better at this, but it’s a work in progress. Additionally, at the university where I work, we’re right in the middle of welcoming new students. As much as I love this time, all the interactions can be draining. I do my best to answer every query, and solve all their problems, but it does get overwhelming at times.
Luckily, I have a close friend who’s always available to chat. I shoot her a message to say I’m feeling anxious, and it releases some of the tension I’m feeling. Later in the evening, I make myself a nourishing dinner, and prepare homemade soup for lunch the next day. I’ve found that making sure I eat a balanced diet is essential for keeping my nerves under control.
Midweek, I’m asked to travel to another campus, because the student welcome fair is busier than expected. This kind of request used to be such a big deal for me, triggering feelings of anxiety, but, now, I handle last-minute diary changes with relative ease. I’m proud of myself for that! On more than one occasion recently, colleagues have commented on how calm I am at work. I attribute this to all the effort I’ve put into learning about managing my anxiety.
Having my creative side project, the Level Up Book Club, brings a sense of joy and purpose to my life, too. On Friday, during my lunch break, I take part in a podcast recording about the book club that really fills up my cup, energetically speaking. I get on really well with the host, and love talking about our community. It reminds me how important it is to identify activities that give me energy, as well as pinpointing the things that drain me.
Of course, life isn’t always that simple. Throughout the week, my partner’s mum has been in hospital, and my partner takes a trip to visit. I choose to stay home, because we can’t leave the dog alone, but I worry about everything: my partner traveling alone, his mum’s condition, the trip itself, the weather, and what he might find when he arrives.
Communication becomes essential when I feel like this, so we agree to keep our phones on loud in case either of us needs urgent contact. This helps me feel in control.
When a friend invites me for a walk, despite the bad weather, I force myself to go. I’ve learned from experience that festering at home doesn’t help me. Afterwards, I nap in the afternoon – something I would have judged myself for in the past. But now, I listen to my body and rest when needed. When my partner returns with a positive update about his mum, I sleep soundly that night, too.
Reflecting on this past week, I’m struck by how much my relationship with anxiety has changed. What once felt like an insurmountable force that controlled my days has become something I can actually manage. The tools I’ve developed – reframing busy days, prioritising proper meals, leaning on friends, and honouring my need for rest – have become second nature. I still have anxious moments, but they no longer define me or derail my week.
Perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned to celebrate the small victories. Being able to handle last-minute changes, receiving compliments at work, being proactive about managing my symptoms – these all show me that I’ve grown a lot. My anxiety journey has taught me that progress isn’t always linear, but it’s always possible.
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