Welcome to Anxiety on Your Mind, the series where we explore the reality of living with anxiety. In this edition, Chaz Kafetzis, 45, from London, shares her thoughts on work, meditation, and crystals
Chaz Kafetzis as told to Fiona Fletcher Reid
I love a good morning routine, and like to start my day by lighting some incense and sitting in stillness for five or 10 minutes. No guided audio, no music – just being present. It gives me a chance to think about my intentions for the day.
I was working on a big product launch for my crystal jewellery brand today, alongside my regular nine-to-five job, which is quite stressful! I’m neurodiverse and get easily distracted, which affects my productivity, and then triggers my anxiety. To combat this, I use a timer clock to help me stay present. I set the time for 30 minutes, and watch it tick down as I work, and the visual reminder helps me stay focused.
Some of the anxiety I get during the work day comes from the isolation of remote working; I end up second-guessing myself a lot. At lunchtime I took myself into another room, and I just sat as still as possible, listening to the birds and having a quiet moment. It’s so simple, but it helps immensely.
Once my work day was over I focused on the product launch, and there was a sense of relief when it finally went live.
Afterwards I was pretty drained from all the overthinking about how people would respond, and how successful it would be, so I did a nice relaxing skincare routine, put my phone away, and read my book.
The next day I had a dentist appointment, and I’m a really anxious patient. I went for a check-up, and I was nervous because I was anticipating more treatment. Thankfully, the dentist was really understanding, and guided me through my options – and I’ve found that when I have options, I feel far less anxious.
That evening, my 10-year-old son really needed some support, as he has anxiety, too. He’s young, so he doesn’t understand mental health the way most adults do, but I’m trying to help him. When I was younger, I didn’t always feel comfortable talking about my anxiety, and I was shamed for being too emotional, so I’m really proud that I’m creating a space for him to talk openly about his feelings, without judgement.
It hasn’t always been easy, of course. When I was growing up, I kept all my anxieties to myself, but eventually, it all came bubbling to the surface during the pandemic. Since then, I’ve done therapy, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and a lot of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) work. I didn’t know how to express myself properly, or understand where all my negative emotions were coming from, and it was causing a lot of conflict in my relationships. Eventually, I could see the impact it was having on my son – he was only four at the time – so that was a big turning point for me. When I saw it happening to my child, I thought, ‘I’ve got to do something about this.’
Even though I’ve done lots of therapy, it was during a break from therapy that I ended up getting into crystals. Although crystals are part of our Hindu culture, it’s not something that’s practised in my faith, but I was willing to give it a go.
Crystals have ended up being a massive part of my anxiety journey, because they keep me uplifted throughout the day. I believe that crystals have energies, even though I know not everyone will agree with me on that! I use my crystal bracelets as tools to set intentions. Then, they act as powerful visual reminders throughout the day, which helps me when I’m struggling with overthinking or to focus. When I’m feeling anxious, they ground me and keep me calm. Similar to my meditation habit, they strengthen that connection to myself, which is so important.
I ended the week doing some online craft workshops, which were very therapeutic. All in all, it was a positive end to a rollercoaster week, but what I’ve realised is that I have lots of coping strategies that really do work. Despite the challenges, I’m learning to cultivate compassion to deal with life’s ups and downs.
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