From letting go of family conflict, to allowing the washing-up to wait a bit longer, Nicki Bannerman shares the lessons she’s learned along the way
As children and teens, we long to be older and have all that seems slightly out of reach. The irony is that when we grow up, we often then yearn to be younger again. But wherever we are in life, and whichever angle we view life from, if we just stop and ponder over the blessings and teachings that we have so far, we realise that our unique ups and downs actually shape us into an evolved and somewhat wiser version of ourselves.
Here, I’m sharing eight lessons I learned when I turned 60.
1. Health truly is wealth
Be a gym bunny, choose an exercise that keeps you stronger longer, or commit to walking more. Make time to eat well, live well, and drink less. Our bodies truly are temples. And, while genetics play a part, how we look after our minds and our bodies can either come back to you with interest, or bite you on the bum.
We can’t know the future, but when we look back we ponder what we could have done differently. So, stay flexible and make food your medicine before medicine becomes your food.
2. Ignore society’s expectations
Society puts immense pressure on us: career in your 20s, the relationship and family in your 30s, the dream house and car in your 40s. Material possessions and the pressure of expectations can tell us we ‘aren’t enough’ without them. In reality, all that really matters is living a life in your own timeframe, with only what you need and with those you love.
I married late, had the dream career before children, and left it when it unravelled – and I wouldn’t change any of it. With time, material goals dissipate and things, just become clutter. We wonder who we are trying to impress. Neighbours, work colleagues, parents? Do it for you!
3. Live your own truth
Live life for your own wellbeing and contentment. Whatever puts a fire in your belly, follow it with your whole heart. The gifts you have are uniquely yours to share with the world. Live life for you, with no regrets or apologies.
Don’t look back wishing you had tried that, learnt that, left that job, changed that relationship, been a hippie, bought a motorbike, worked remotely on an island – whatever it is, please, do it now. Find a way. Make the decision and the path will follow. Do everything while you can.
4. Memories and experiences really matter
I have been blessed with two (now young adult) children, and am over the moon to create memories and magic in the mundane with them. Whether we’re laughing in the rain or travelling across the globe, those quality moments are everything.
Money aside, you can always make time to create incredible experiences. You can play a board game, cook together, light a fire, watch a movie, or take a picnic to an amazing location. Memories shared are very special, so focus more on experiences than the hollow material things in life, and cherish those times. The best things in life really are free. Make some magical memories today.
5. Hold on to your relationships with loved ones
Family and friends lift you up as you climb, or are a safety net when you fall. They mirror back to you your own wonder (and your faults) to help move you along your path. They may challenge or teach you, and your siblings are actually the only people on Earth who know and understand your childhood.
Many of my contemporaries have fallen out with their siblings (under the pressure of grief or caring duties). They know you inside out, so don’t let pride eat you up, make up. Friends are like extended family to me, and the sisters I never had. Life changes fast, embrace your nearest and dearest and try to be kind – we don’t know what others carry in their minds and hearts. When you have lost family, as I have, you realise you would give everything back for just one more day with someone you truly care about.
6. Try not to get caught up in the drudge of life
We spend so much time caught up in our busy lives and things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, so choose to focus on what you are passionate about, and create the life you want and deserve.
Forget the drudge and make time to play with those demanding kids instead of doing the dishwasher. Leave the hoovering and go out for a cuppa with someone who is in need. Life can change so quickly – in fact, your whole life can change in as little as six months or less when you are older, so enjoy life today. Joy matters and the dishes never disappear, but people can.
7. Be honest with people
If your friends, family, work colleagues, or partner don’t trust and respect your boundaries then call them out. Wear your heart on your sleeve, and tell others that you love them. Tell them when you see them do something special, but also when their actions are difficult to take. Run from toxic relationships or co-dependent situations. If today, you take one step in the right direction, you will look back a year from now and be proud to see how far you have really come.
8. Find your tribe
Whether your joy is in a hobby, your community, work, or your friendship group, make time to connect with those ‘like-minded’ souls who truly ‘get you’ and have similar interests or mindsets. It will raise you up.
I used to pretend I was younger than I am, but now I am finally proud to look in the mirror and know I am still here, enjoying life in my 60s. I have done 60 amazing things this year, from karaoke in a blues bar with my kids to going on tour with an award-winning choir – and even being an extra on TV and travelling around the world solo. Now, I am awaiting my next hip replacement! Life is short and is exactly what you make it. Enjoy every second.
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