Whether it’s blatant fake news, offensive troll comments, or our own comparison trap jealousy, we all can experience online anger from time to time. So, for those moments when your digital rage knows no bounds, use these seven strategies to defuse the tension and reclaim your calm
We’ve all been there: you’ve come across a comment while scrolling through Facebook, or a headline has popped up on X that has left you feeling angry. It’s an all-too-familiar feeling, and one that’s actually intentional. A Yale University study, published in the journal Science Advances, revealed how online networks encourage us to express more moral outrage over time as the angrier we are, the more likely we are to stay and interact on social media platforms.
So, what can we do to help lessen our digital rage, or find healthier, more productive outlets for it?
1. Curate your digital experience
Consider blocking people rather than engaging with them in arguments; click to ‘show less’, or opt out of being shown headlines, businesses, or individuals that focus on topics you know will make you angry.
While it’s rarely good to live in an echo chamber online, ensuring that you have a digital ‘safe space’, where you can scroll without worrying that a few minutes of unwinding is going to turn into an argument, is important. You might want to establish different platforms for these uses – for example, perhaps Instagram is for connecting with friends, while X is for your news and world updates – that way you know what to expect when you jump into any app, and can make sure you’re in the right headspace to engage.
2. Disengage and step away from the screen
If you find yourself being drawn into an argument, or a discussion is turning heated, consider physically taking a break from your screen. Nothing is stopping you from disengaging, and no one (especially a stranger on the internet) is entitled to demand your time and attention if you don’t want to share it. Doing something physical, like going on a walk, can help to improve your mood, decrease feelings of anxiety and stress, and help you to feel more present in the moment. It’s funny how a little fresh air can genuinely clear the mind.
3. Think before you post
It can become a habit to respond when we see content online that we disagree with. But the more that we give into our knee-jerk reaction, the more likely we are to develop unhealthy habits around interacting with social media.
Try to take a moment to let yourself calm down before commenting. You might be able to form a more concise, clear, and unbiased argument if you allow yourself to cool off, or even realise you misinterpreted someone’s words. Perhaps you’re able to understand their point of view, even if you disagree with it.
It’s also good to recognise that, even if we have good intentions and feel a moral obligation to stand up for or against certain things, we can take a beat to choose our battles. Putting all your time and energy into correcting every misinformed, ignorant, or offensive post will drain you pretty quickly – and might feel futile if people don’t listen to reason. Instead, when something is offensive, you can report the post or account rather than interacting directly.
4. Try relaxation techniques
When you’re feeling angry, your breathing might feel quicker or more shallow; focusing on breathing techniques like the 4-7-8 where you breathe in for four, hold for seven, then release for eight, can help you to physically calm your body, so you can focus on calming your mind.
5. Say no to doomscrolling
Scrolling mindlessly can be one of the ways that we trick ourselves into thinking we are relaxing or rewarding ourselves with a break, when, actually, we are risking further overwhelming ourselves with even more information.
By avoiding doomscrolling, we can help to make our time spent online feel more meaningful and focused. This can encourage us to make the most of it – rather than finding ourselves falling into unhelpful or upsetting interactions.
6. Find healthy outlets for your anger
Let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. It’s not a ‘bad’ emotion or something to feel ashamed of, in fact there are a lot of benefits to anger, provided you have a healthy outlet to process it. Anger might signify what really matters to you, it can motivate and empower you, or help you express your needs. It can also be a protective emotion, helping us become aware of a perceived threat or danger that we can deal with. But rather than resorting to futile online debates, we could channel it through journaling, venting our frustrations on the page to make sense of them and gain clarity as to what is most provoking the anger. That way we can seek out proactive, positive actions to address it beyond the comments section.
7. Consider talking with someone
If you’re worried that how you’re feeling may be starting to negatively affect you or others around you, it could be a sign that it’s time to seek help. Working with a therapist can give you the chance to talk about your feelings, acknowledge your triggers, and find new, healthy ways to recognise, manage, and change the way that you respond to anger.
We can’t control how we feel. It’s normal and valid to feel angry sometimes, especially in a digital world where a lot of people share unsolicited opinions, without facts to back them up, and seemingly without consequences or accountability. Standing up for what you believe in is right, but finding healthy ways to express your anger is an important step in ensuring that you control it, rather than allowing it to control you.
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