From the idea that you should enjoy every minute to the ‘approved timeline’ to tick off sleep training, there are many myths about parenting that create unrealistic expectations and undue pressure. So, it’s time to reframe the narrative to give a more authentic picture…
Becoming a parent or guardian is a role that can redefine you, but that doesn’t mean it always follows a set script. As a mum of one, I know how easy it is to judge ourselves and our experiences based on the stories shared about how to be the ‘perfect parent’, but this is a narrative that’s often crafted from misconceptions and idealised scenarios. When we read between the lines, the truth can look a little different to the fiction we’re told.
Myth 1: You should enjoy every minute of parenting – it goes so fast
While the saying ‘It goes so fast!’ does hold some truth – with certain days feeling like you’ve blinked and your child has gone from a toddler tentatively taking their first steps, to a fully-grown child running around carefree – telling parents to enjoy every minute is not actually helpful. Like anything in life, there are good and bad days when raising youngsters, and I’m yet to meet this mythical parent who enjoys every single second of it.
There’s no denying (and it’s OK to say) that while parenting is often rewarding, it can also be hard. In fact, one 2025 survey from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) found that 59% of therapists have seen an increase in parents seeking support as they’re struggling to cope, so if you’re feeling like this, you’re far from alone. Admitting when you’re struggling, or having a bad day (or week, or month), is a positive step in getting the support you need. Persisting with a narrative that excludes recognition of the challenges parents face can create even more pressure to uphold impossible standards – and that isn’t good for anyone.
Myth 2: Your baby should sleep through the night
The age-old battle of getting a young child to sleep – is there anything more stressful? Perhaps you read that your baby ‘should’ be a perfect 7pm–7am by now, or heard comments from acquaintances about their child resting undisturbed by your one’s age, so you worry you’re doing something wrong. The truth is that every baby is different, and lots of young children find it hard to settle.
“These expectations can be really detrimental to parents’ mental health,” says child sleep consultant Jade Zammit of beyondthestars.co.uk. “Comparison is one of the worst things we can do when it comes to your baby’s sleep. There are so many reasons why some babies wake more frequently; some babies have low sleep needs, and others have high sleep needs, and some are really sensitive to sleep pressure. There could even be developmental factors and reflux. It’s biologically normal – my biggest piece of advice is stay in your own lane, and consider your own baby’s needs. Their sleep (or lack of!) is not a reflection of you as a parent, or them as a baby.”
Myth 3: Don’t ‘make a rod for your own back’
This common idiom – which implies you’re behaving in a way that is going to make life more difficult for yourself in the future – is wheeled out at every possibility in the early stages of parenting. Whether that’s supposedly holding your baby too much, rocking them to sleep, or picking them up when they cry, there will definitely be someone declaring you’re ‘making a rod for your own back’. The truth? There’s no 100% foolproof handbook to raising a child. You know your baby best, and what works for you – and you’re doing the best you can for them.
Myth 4: A good parent never shouts
I’m not saying that shouting as a parent is a good thing, but raising your voice once in a while doesn’t automatically make you a bad parent either. The responsibility of bringing up a child, and entering that unknown territory, can test anyone, so know that it’s human to feel overwhelmed or frustrated at times.
A good parent is able to recognise that they won’t always deal with a situation correctly – but rather than beating themself up, looks to see what they can learn, and how they can make a difference in the future to stop repeating the cycle.
“The idea that a ‘good parent never shouts’ sets parents up to fail – especially if we’re neurodivergent ourselves, or raising kids who are,” says Lauren O’Carroll, peaceful parent expert of positivelyparenting.co.uk. “Parenting stirs up a lot of big emotions, and staying perfectly calm 100% of the time just isn’t realistic for most of us. What truly matters is how we take responsibility when we lose it, and how we repair it with our kids afterwards – that is where real connection and emotional growth happens.”
Myth 5: Social media is ruining teenagers’ lives
In the digital age, navigating the online world and how your child grows up in it is an additional challenge, and one many of us didn’t face in the same ways in our own youth. In the 2025 Children’s Wellbeing in a Digital World Index survey (from Internet Matters), it was revealed that two-fifths of parents felt the internet was negatively affecting their child’s health. There can be concerns around everything from doomscrolling and comparison traps, to safety, privacy, and content controls. But it isn’t all doom and gloom.
“There’s definitely valid concerns that social media can have negative effects on mental health, and the negative impacts of excessive screen time, but when used with prudence, social media can provide a creative outlet, and be a tool for connection and self-expression,” says parenting expert Dr Beth Dawson (drbethdawson.com). “What is really important is for parents to have open conversations about social media and screens, [...] encouraging a healthy balance that can ensure technology becomes constructive and not detrimental.”
The reality is that technology isn’t going anywhere, so finding a way to both discuss and create healthy social media habits, rather than using it as a tool to punish or restrict them, can mean your teens may become more open to sharing their digital lives, and their concerns about them, with you – not just their online followers.
Myth 6: Parenting ends when they reach 18
While watching your children reach adulthood, developing their independence, and growing into a life all of their own can be a moment of pride for parents, there’s no age limit to when or how they might need you. It’s just that your role might morph into something a little new.
Rather than being their teacher, you can think of yourself as more of a coach. They have more autonomy, and while you might not make the ultimate decisions on their behalf anymore, you can still be a pillar of support and guidance as they continue to navigate the world.
This can be a challenging transition for parents, learning that they can’t always fix or control everything, and sometimes have to understand and allow your children to explore their own individual journeys. It can mean evolving into a strong listener, recognising when to ‘bite your tongue’, and taking a vested interest in understanding their wants and needs – and how these won’t necessarily replicate your own.
From the moment your child is born, you’re exposed to all kinds of parenting myths – but it’s important to be able to distinguish fact from fiction. And, more importantly, recognise that we, as parents, know our children better than anyone else – and that’s far more powerful than any myth or old wives’ tale.
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