From learning about problem-solving techniques to engaging all your senses with physical touch, we’re rounding up proven ways to boost the intimacy in your relationship

Our romantic relationships can fill our lives with so much joy. When you’re in tune with someone, and have developed a deep and sturdy relationship, it can leave you feeling like you could take on any challenge that comes your way. That supportive foundation is a pleasure in and of itself, but it can also act as a launch pad for going about your day with confidence and a sense of security.

So, how can we nurture that intimacy, keep the spark alive, and maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship? Here, we’ve rounded up four science-back ways to go about it.

1. Learn about solution-based communication

‘Communicate’ is an age-old relationship tip that’s often easier said than done, and instructing someone to communicate their feelings is only half of the battle. Several studies have found that training and enriching our communication skills, and perhaps engaging in communication therapy, can contribute to enriched emotional intimacy.

In one study, published in Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences, couples were trained in six 90-minute training sessions to improve their relationships and communication – learning how to evaluate the nature of their problems, detect the chief complaint, define the problem, set a goal, examine solutions, and find the best solution to the problem. What the study found was that these couples who were trained in solution-focused methods saw their emotional intimacy was enhanced.

You can replicate solution-based communication by following the key steps highlighted above, or under the guidance of a relationships counsellor.

2. Work on your psychological intimacy

We all want to feel heard and understood – and working on this aspect of our relationship is really important. Psychological intimacy refers to when we share our personal problems, our hopes, fears, desires, and feelings with our partner. And this is a key area when it comes to improving our overall intimacy.

In a study published in the Journal of Kurdistan University of Medical Sciences, participants were enrolled in a ‘relationship enrichment program’ which taught them expressive skills and empathic listening. What the researchers saw was that enriching this specific type of communication improves our sense of psychological intimacy.

Ready to give this one a go? Try working through our collection of 50 questions to build emotional intimacy.

3. Engage in all kinds of physical intimacy

When it comes to keeping the spark alive, it’s tempting to think that means you should jump straight into bed with each other. But that’s only part of the story. While studies show that sexual intimacy is important for many couples when it comes to feeling close and connected, we shouldn’t neglect other forms of physical intimacy along the way.

For example, studies have shown that holding hands with a romantic partner has been shown to help lower blood pressure, reduce pain, and become a buffer to stressful experiences. Plus, in a study published in the Western Journal of Communication, it was found that when married couples increased the amount of time they spend cuddling, they reported higher satisfaction in their relationships.

4. Prioritise temporal intimacy

We know that spending quality time together is really important for our relationships, and that’s precisely what temporary intimacy is all about. It refers to the extent to which couples spend their daily time with each other, engaging in intimate activities like the others listed above.

This is all about uninterrupted time together, predicting each other’s needs, expressing yourself, and maintaining a degree of excitement. In one study into the importance of temporal intimacy, published in Family Health, researchers recommend that couples with families go on walks, and have other recreational time together, without the presence of their children in order to make the most optimal use of their time together, and to reap its benefits.

Carving out time to spend together can be a challenge, particularly if it needs to be worked around family life. But this core pillar of the overall picture of intimacy can’t be ignored and is often a facilitator for other forms of intimacy such as psychological and physical. So, get your shared calendar out, it’s time to block book some time together.