What is interoception, and how can we encourage them to develop it?
A few months ago, I asked my daughter Lily, a 21-year-old student, if she’d ‘like’ a few of my book Instagram posts because I could do with a bit more engagement. No, she replied. She’d decided to give herself a month-long break from social media, and had deleted her Instagram app.
Was I disappointed she couldn’t give my social media posts a boost? Not a bit. As I read her message, I virtually punched the air.
When I saw Lily, she explained that she had noticed how stressed the comparison culture on social media was making her feel. Apart from how it made her heart race and gave her eye strain, she also realised how it was bringing up anxious feelings – and so decided to do something about it, and felt happier and calmer as a result.
What is interoception?
Quite naturally, Lily was using something called ‘interoception’ – a word that effectively means being able to interpret and understand the signals our body gives in relation to external stimuli, and how they relate to our feelings. Dubbed the ‘eighth sense’, it’s an evidence-based concept which encourages us to notice these internal signs first, like rapid breathing, body tension, quickening heartbeat, or moistening palms, and what they tell us. We can then take steps to meet the underlying need, and emotionally regulate. And as more research supports its usefulness, as a parenting author, I believe it’s the most powerful tool we have for creating a generation of more self-aware children, able to adapt and support their own emotions.
How interoception makes parenting easier
Though the term was first coined in 1906, by British physiologist Charles Sherrington in his book The Integrative Action of the Nervous System, it’s increasingly coming to the fore with the growing interest in somatic and body-focused therapy, and is now one of the fastest moving areas in neuroscience and psychology.
Coming across it has made me think of how much easier my parenting journey would have been had I known about it, especially when considering milestones like entering the digital sphere. According to a 2023 report by Ofcom, by the age of 12, 97% of children have their own mobile phone. Whether it’s for their safety and to ensure we’re always contactable, or because we’re worried they’ll miss out, bringing technology, easy access to the internet, and social media into their lives is a challenge we have to navigate, trying to set boundaries with rules and apps.
Too often it turns into the battle we feared it would be; the constant feeling that we have to nag and cajole them to put their phones away and engage with other activities in the real-world. But when children learn interoception, they are more able to notice for themselves when the constant interruptions of notifications and comparison culture of social media make them feel sucked in, tired, stressed, or overstimulated.
Using interoception to navigate parenting challenges
While the use of interoception was pioneered among parents and professionals to support kids with sensory processing, it’s increasingly being recognised as a method to help all children – and indeed adults.
Beyond screen time, training your children in interoception has a dizzying array of benefits. Let’s take anxiety, with the Anxiety and Depression Association of America suggesting that anxiety disorders affect 31.9% of teens between 13 and 18 years old. Studies, such as 2021 research in Personality and Individual Differences, have actually noted that people experiencing anxiety tend to be more aware of their bodily sensations, but the issue is catastrophising and misinterpreting what they mean. Often the symptoms of anxiety, such as shallow breathing, a dry mouth, or a rapid heartbeat, can be mistaken for signs they are in terrible danger, leading to issues like panic attacks, as well as social and school avoidance.
So, an important element is connecting the recognition of sensations with an accurate understanding of emotions. When they can work out how the inputs from their senses are making them feel, kids can then take steps to ground themselves, whether it’s by utilising breathwork or grounding exercises.
Indeed, a recent study in The Lancet found that autistic students were twice as likely to recover from anxiety disorders after three months of interoceptive training, compared to a control group, because they learned to recognise the physiological changes in their bodies which wrongly led their brains to tell them that something terrible was about to happen. After they learned to monitor their bodies, 31% were considered to be in ‘functional recovery’.
While further studies with more participants will be needed to confirm links, there is a growing body of research finding that interoception can support a variety of other conditions. As an example, a 2022 study, published in Brain Sciences, reviewed the impact of interoception techniques on university students, and found it had the potential to decrease suicidal ideation and eating disorder symptoms.
How do we teach interoception?
As with most things in parenting, the best way to teach kids interoception is to demonstrate the behaviour yourself. You can do this by tapping into your own bodily sensations, linking them to how you feel, and talking to your child about what you are experiencing in your body.
A few ideas on ways to model this habit include saying to your toddler something as simple as: ‘I notice that when I breathe deeply, I feel calmer.’ On the way to school, you could say to your child: ‘I notice that when I haven’t had enough breakfast, my tummy rumbles and I feel grumpier.’ For teens, you could say: ‘I’ve really noticed how my mind feels happier, because I only used my phone to play music, rather than scrolling, while I worked.’
When it comes to encouraging your child to engage with interoception, here are a few pointers:
- Ask them questions. As they are learning about feelings in their preschool years, whenever they seem to be feeling a strong emotion, pause to ask them where they are feeling it. Ask them to locate it in their body, and describe the colour or shape. Showing them how to regulate their feelings from an early age will be a life-long gift for them – and for you as a parent, because you will likely be dealing with fewer tantrums and melt-downs.
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Suggest kids draw themselves. This allows them to pinpoint where the sensation they are feeling is inside them, and what it looks like – is it a fuzzy red feeling in their chest that’s making them feel angry? Or something solid and blue in their throat that’s making them feel stuck and frustrated? This is supported by research published in Scientific Reports in 2024, which suggests that when people are able to see external representations of their bodily responses, they find it easier to regulate those responses.
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Make a body scan a regular part of their bedtime routine. To do this, lie down with your child and invite them to imagine a scanner moving up their body, going from their toes to the top of their heads. Ask them to describe how each part feels – whether heavy, light, tingly, cold, warm, relaxed, or tight, or anything else they can think of. Encourage them to name those sensations, and accept them without judgement. After all, our bodies are always speaking. The time has come for us to help our children listen.
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