When you work ‘anti-social’ hours, it can be hard to navigate the feeling of missing out. Here, we share some tips for handling shift work FOMO
It was during a misty mid-September commute when a realisation struck me. My morning had hummed along with its usual bumbling monotony. I rose from bed around 9:30am, vision blurred from drowsiness. I ventured out into the chilly autumnal air, trudging to the local pub for my opening shift. And that’s when it hit me: ‘Sh*t, Sarah’s birthday was last week.’ I’d been too busy working to notice, let alone reach out to one of my dearest friends.
To those familiar with shift work, this stomach-churning feeling is unfortunately all too common. The ever-changing shift patterns, coupled with long and unpredictable hours, make it nearly impossible to schedule a social life.
FOMO, the ‘fear of missing out’, reflects the anxiety of feeling like an exciting or interesting event may be happening without you. Luckily for fellow shift workers, there are multiple ways to tackle it. Although they can’t guarantee that you’ll never feel left out again, these ideas ensure you’ll be able to keep cool in the face of FOMO.
1. Distinguish social media from reality
Social media is a primary trigger for FOMO. A positive step forward is accepting the difference between online and reality. Remind yourself that social media is a highlight reel, not an accurate reflection of someone’s daily life.
Unfollow or ‘mute’ accounts that don’t leave you feeling confident about yourself. Instead, cultivate your social media feed to help reduce FOMO. And just think, how many events have you attended that look amazing in a snapshot, but didn’t live up to the hype? Perhaps it was awkward small talk, friends rowing, or spending a fortune on something you didn’t really enjoy – missing out because of work can sometimes be a blessing in disguise.
2. Accept your FOMO, but don’t dwell
Although we wish that we could scream ‘Yes!’ to every weekday brunch date, co-worker leaving-do, or coffee catch-up thrown our way, unfortunately, we are only human, and turning down plans is completely OK (albeit frustrating).
Acknowledging your FOMO is fundamental to overcoming it. While these emotions are natural, it is vital not to let them fester into resentment and bitterness, as this will only enhance FOMO in the long-term.
“Practise mindful reflection,” advises counsellor Abigail Holman. “FOMO often pulls us away from the present moment. Practising mindfulness can, therefore, help you focus on the here and now, enabling you to appreciate what’s right in front of you.”
3. Invest in your relationships
“It’s vital to discuss your shift patterns with close loved ones,” says Abigail. “This will make it easier to schedule social activities in advance, and help you make the most of your downtime.”
Being honest with loved ones about your struggles not only allows you to openly discuss your feelings, but can also be a nice change of pace and help you shake that feeling of missing out. It might mean they’re more conscious of checking in with you in advance of making plans in future, to try to work around your schedule, or organise something separate to look forward to.
Making plans with someone close to you, and doing something social, also puts you at the centre of the action. For those working unsociable shift patterns, a quick telephone call for a chat with a loved one can help to foster a more meaningful connection, even when a face-to-face catch-up isn’t possible.
4. Focus on the long-term
While it’s important to validate your FOMO feelings, it’s wise to remind yourself why you’re missing out, and assess how working shift patterns might fit in with your long-term ambitions. The key to optimising these efforts is to remain persistent, recognise your own accomplishments, and be patient with yourself.
“There are lots of benefits worth considering and embracing based on your unique situation,” adds Abigail. “I recommend exploring the advantages of your unconventional work schedule. It might provide extra income, time to study, or to attend appointments.”
It might also be that your work is meaningful to you, so focusing on the positives and why you’re doing something, can help shake off the FOMO in other parts of your life.
5. Be kind to yourself
Lastly, it’s important to give yourself a break. Keep in mind that you’re human, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel burnt out, lonely, or overwhelmed. Taking regular breaks to relax and gather your thoughts is just as important as working hard on shift.
“Making the most of your free time can be essential in overcoming FOMO,” Abigail says. “Try to view your time off from traditional hours as an opportunity. Use it for a relaxed, slow morning, attending a class, going shopping when it’s quieter, or engaging in activities you enjoy when it’s typically less crowded.”
But, as Abigail suggests, if these feelings continue negatively impacting your daily life, consider seeking professional help for tailored strategies to manage them. And just know that while there may be times when you fear you’re missing out, there’ll be plenty of moments to look forward to as well.
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