Recognising the signs of resentment and ways you can repair a relationship

While there can be many causes of resentment, it usually stems from anger. It may be something a spouse has done, such as flirting with someone else, or something they’ve not done, like helping with cooking. While your anger may be justified, it’s possible your partner is unaware of the effect their actions had on you. Anger can turn to resentment if your partner dismisses your feelings.

Something needs to be done before resentment poisons the relationship. Communication is key and involves being honest about how you’re feeling. Listen to the other person’s point of view and make sure you’ve understood them. Sometimes we assume we know what our partner’s thinking, but good communication requires checking those assumptions out.

Graeme Orr

Once the issues are on the table, work together to find practical ways to address them. If it’s habits, how can you support each other in changing them? If there are problems in the relationship, could a counsellor help resolve them? Good communication is key to moving past the resentment and strengthening your relationship.

Read the full article on Counselling Directory.
Written by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred) UKRCP Reg Ind counsellor.