Seeking success and working hard can only be a good thing, right? It turns out the pressures of perfectionism can be detrimental to our wellbeing, so finding a balance for overachievers is essential

I have always been ambitious and highly motivated, with an entrepreneurial flair. Growing up, I was inspired seeing my dad running his accountancy business from home, and observing his interactions with clients. Now, I’m self-employed, running my own business, and winning awards for my work.

Striving for success can be hugely rewarding, but, of course, it doesn’t come without a cost – which may sound all too familiar to you as well. Overachievers are a driven and ambitious bunch. They set high goals, push themselves relentlessly, and often achieve remarkable things. But this can coincide with judgement and criticism from others, along with the punishing pressure to excel that can lead to stress, anxiety, and even burnout.

While their journeys and experiences can be unique, there are a few common threads that explain why overachievers may struggle:

  • A constant need to prove themselves. Many overachievers feel a persistent need to validate their worth through accomplishment. This can stem from external pressures like parental expectations, a competitive environment, or an internal drive for self-worth.

  • A fear of failure. The possibility of falling short can be paralysing for overachievers. The constant pursuit of perfection leaves little room for mistakes, fostering anxiety and a fear of letting themselves or others down.

  • The comparison trap. Some overachievers compare themselves to others, fuelling a never-ending cycle of striving for success. Social media and societal pressures can exacerbate this tendency.

Over time, the consequences of overachieving in an unhealthy way can result in various health and wellbeing issues. One result can be chronic stress, as constant pressure can lead to elevated cortisol levels, impacting your physical and mental health. This can manifest as headaches, sleep problems, and difficulty concentrating.

Other possible outcomes can be the fear of failure and relentless pursuit of perfection leading to anxiety and depression later in their career, as no achievement feels like ‘enough’, or addresses that need for validation – so, what was it all for? They may also find that they lose their sense of passion, as sometimes overachievers can become so fixated on the outcome that they lose sight of their intrinsic enjoyment, and the joy of the journey gets lost in the focus on the end destination. And, of course, the ultimate consequence is burnout, feeling exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense of detachment from their work and personal life.

Finding peace is not about abandoning ambition; it is about finding a sustainable approach to achieving your goals. Based on my own experience, by incorporating these tools and shifting your perspective of success, overachievers can truly thrive.

  • Reframe accomplishments: Defining success beyond external validation brings a great sense of personal growth, learning, and the satisfaction of a job well done. Celebrate your small wins, and acknowledge the effort itself.

  • Embrace imperfections: Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them, forgive yourself, and move on. Perfectionism is an illusion that leads to anxiety and prevents growth.

  • Set realistic goals: Breaking down large goals into smaller, achievable steps is more likely to bring frequent milestones and ongoing progress.

  • Practise mindfulness: Learning to be present in the moment and focusing on the process, not just the outcome. Mindfulness techniques like meditation can help manage stress and anxiety.

  • Prioritise self-care: Schedule time for activities you enjoy, relaxation, and getting enough sleep. Overachievers often neglect these essential elements of wellbeing by overworking.

  • Learn to say no: This is probably the most important one that ambitious people struggle with. Don’t overload yourself – it is OK to set boundaries, delegate tasks, and sometimes to say no.

  • Celebrate the journey: Focus on the process of achieving your goals, not just the end result. Find joy in the growth, and experiences along the way.

Overachievement can be a powerful force for good, which can bring a great sense of meaning and purpose to our lives. By finding a balance between ambition and wellbeing, overachievers can achieve their full potential while living fulfilling and peaceful lives. Equally, healthy competition can be used in a positive way, as a tool for nurturing motivation rather than something to compare and punish yourself with.

Finally, surrounding yourself with supportive people who value you for who you are as a person, and not your achievements, might just be the missing piece of the puzzle.